Thirty-Two Days. And Counting.
Feb. 17th, 2003 08:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elfie_chanGod, I want to elope.
I want to be married. I want to have this whole "wedding thing" over and done with. I want to get to the good part, where I get to stay at his house and we live our lives together in happiness.
I want to skip the part where I screw up. I want to skip the part where I hurt people's feelings without meaning to. I want to skip the part where I don't understand what's going on. I want to skip the part where I offend people and I don't know why or how. I want to skip the mistakes.
*sigh* That said, I'd also like to say that, if I get out of this with all of my friendships intact and with me married to Alex, the man of my dreams, I'll count myself lucky. It's too late to elope now--our parents would kill us. ^_~ Actually, I know the wedding is going to be beautiful, and we've gotten so much done over the past few days, but still...I wish it was over.
I would like to apologize to anyone whose feelings were hurt as a result of anything I have said or done in preparation for this wedding. I didn't mean it.
*Bridezilla moment* I JUST WANT TO GET MARRIED AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER, DAMMIT! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?! */Bridezilla moment*
I would also like to apologize if the previous statement offended anyone.
I feel like I'm not allowed to be upset, not allowed to make mistakes, not allowed to be anything less than perfect. My parents and Alex have been wonderful about this, though. They let me cry when I need to, even if I don't really have any reason other than stress. They listen when I'm upset, let me make mistakes, and forgive me when I mess up. There are times when I just want to close myself off from everyone and hide until it's all over. Except for my family, a few close friends, and Alex.
Alex, in particular, has been wonderful. He's so supportive, so loving, so accepting, so forgiving.
Sometimes I feel like I can't do anything without upsetting someone. I hurt one of my best friend's feelings the other day because of a stupid mistake I made, and I don't know what to do about it now. I apologized, though, sincerely, but I wonder if I said the right things? I just don't know anymore.
Aren't weddings supposed to be happy occasions?
I actually feel better today than I did yesterday. But still...gah. Tomorrow will be even better.
I would also like to thank all of you who have been so supportive of me during this stressful, stressful time. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I go sleep now. You're all wonderful, especially Amy, Marky, and Nate, who I got to see this weekend. You are all teh win. *snugs*
I want to be married. I want to have this whole "wedding thing" over and done with. I want to get to the good part, where I get to stay at his house and we live our lives together in happiness.
I want to skip the part where I screw up. I want to skip the part where I hurt people's feelings without meaning to. I want to skip the part where I don't understand what's going on. I want to skip the part where I offend people and I don't know why or how. I want to skip the mistakes.
*sigh* That said, I'd also like to say that, if I get out of this with all of my friendships intact and with me married to Alex, the man of my dreams, I'll count myself lucky. It's too late to elope now--our parents would kill us. ^_~ Actually, I know the wedding is going to be beautiful, and we've gotten so much done over the past few days, but still...I wish it was over.
I would like to apologize to anyone whose feelings were hurt as a result of anything I have said or done in preparation for this wedding. I didn't mean it.
*Bridezilla moment* I JUST WANT TO GET MARRIED AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER, DAMMIT! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?! */Bridezilla moment*
I would also like to apologize if the previous statement offended anyone.
I feel like I'm not allowed to be upset, not allowed to make mistakes, not allowed to be anything less than perfect. My parents and Alex have been wonderful about this, though. They let me cry when I need to, even if I don't really have any reason other than stress. They listen when I'm upset, let me make mistakes, and forgive me when I mess up. There are times when I just want to close myself off from everyone and hide until it's all over. Except for my family, a few close friends, and Alex.
Alex, in particular, has been wonderful. He's so supportive, so loving, so accepting, so forgiving.
Sometimes I feel like I can't do anything without upsetting someone. I hurt one of my best friend's feelings the other day because of a stupid mistake I made, and I don't know what to do about it now. I apologized, though, sincerely, but I wonder if I said the right things? I just don't know anymore.
Aren't weddings supposed to be happy occasions?
I actually feel better today than I did yesterday. But still...gah. Tomorrow will be even better.
I would also like to thank all of you who have been so supportive of me during this stressful, stressful time. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I go sleep now. You're all wonderful, especially Amy, Marky, and Nate, who I got to see this weekend. You are all teh win. *snugs*
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-02-17 10:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-02-18 08:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-02-18 05:54 pm (UTC)Heh...don't get down or anything, I was nothing but impressed when I met Alex and you. No negativity whatsoever.
Re:
Date: 2003-02-19 08:04 am (UTC)*hires bodyguards for Nate, 'cuz he's famous now*
no subject
Date: 2003-02-19 02:16 am (UTC)Amy is right, though. *nodnod* The day will come soon, and it'll be more awesome than the awesomest day of your life with an electric awesome machine. And, of course, you and Alex are certainly in my prayers. *hugs* I'm sorry I couldn't comment sooner, but I just arrived in Wyoming tonight and had the opportunity to hook up my computer for a brief Internet spree. I'll be in more contact when I get in Canada in a couple of days. Until then, take care. And take care after then too. =P
Re:
Date: 2003-02-19 08:02 am (UTC)Ooh! Have fun in Canada! Check out the nifty Celtic shops and the Asterix & Obelix stuff. ^_^
Thank you so much for the support and prayers. I really appreciate it. *snugsnugs*
no subject
Date: 2003-02-19 03:44 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-02-20 09:25 am (UTC)