Wedding Updates and Self-Esteem
Jan. 24th, 2003 08:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elfie_chanFirst of all, here's something I find entertaining: My mom has Kazaa on this computer, and her participation level is Guru. What, exactly, does this mean?
I feel kinda sick this morning, which is a bad thing. I have a job interview this afternoon (YAAAY! Wish me luck!), and I want to be on top form. *sighs* I'll try to take it easy this morning, I think. But I have chores to do! AUGH!
The wedding is in a little less than two months now. WOOT! I cannot express how excited I am! Alex and I went with his mom to hire the caterer on Wednesday, and that was kinda fun. We had dinner there, too, and the food was FANTASTIC. Alex's mom is cool. I have no worries about getting along with my in-laws. ^_^
Alex and I also picked up a guestbook. I went to Bridal Hell last Sunday (Bridal Fair--I hate those) with my friend, Heidi. She's getting married in June '04. Hee! In any case, I was being a "stealth bride" (as Alex said) and, while helping Heidi out, I was also scoping the last-minute bits that Alex and I still needed. I found the perfect guestbook in a display--brown Italian leather cover with "Guests" just stamped on it (no gold leaf or anything) and nice, acid-free paper with a ragged edge. I grabbed the booth's business card and told Alex about it, and we went to see about it the next day. Unfortunately, the shop was closed for Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. Rats. So, we went back on Tuesday and got the book. It is BEAUTIFUL. Yay!
In other news, Heidi now has her wedding dress ordered, and she assures me that it's beautiful. I've seen the bridesmaids' dresses for her wedding, and the designs for those are lovely, too. This makes me happy, 'cuz I have to wear one. ^_~
And now, a small rant on Bridal Fairs: I hate them. The vendors are so pushy, and there are too many people. There are some positives, though: The actual fashion show thingy was fun (especially the tuxedo models pretending to be James Bond), and the food samples are good. It's a good place for ideas, but for Heaven's sake, don't buy anything there. Take notes and visit the shops. The End.
And now, something I found interesting:
I was reading an article last night in the August 2002 Reader's Digest. (No, I don't know why my parents still have it.) The article was "That's Outrageous!" by Tucker Carlson, and it was subheaded, "Go Ahead, Hurt My Feelings." The article is about a study conducted by the California Task Force on Self-Esteem that found that, according to Maureen Stout, author of the study, "There is little or no correlation between high self-esteem and a reduction in teen pregnancy, drug use, violence in schools."
I read the rest of the article, and it would have been funny if it wasn't so tragic. Did you know that kids sue their schools for bad grades and are actually taken seriously? Also, here's a bit of the article that shows how far self-esteem has gone in this country:
"One night last fall, four seventh-graders at Ridgefield Academy in Connecticut broke into their school using a stolen key. The boys swiped food from the cafeteria, stole from the band room, threw eggs at a school bus and left a kitchen knife lying on school grounds. The following day they bragged about what they had done. A few days later, they were expelled.
In a way, the boys were fortunate the school did not press charges. Far from being grateful, however, the parents of one boy were outraged at the treatment of their son, claiming--among other things--that he had been 'harassed' and 'defamed.' They sued, seeking monetary damages for treatment that caused their son 'feelings of unworthiness' and left his 'self-worth impugned.'"
Okay. If you break into a school, cause damage, and then brag about it the next day, you deserve to have "feelings of unworthiness." You have done a STUPID thing!
Life is not all positive, but there are kids who are brought up to believe that it is. I've seen other signs of the "self-esteem generation," like inability to take even constructive criticism, unwillingness to improve in anything, etc. For some people, any kind of criticism hurts badly, because they've been brought up to believe that they can do no wrong and life is fair. Then they get out in the real world--and the real problems begin.
Life is not fair. I believe that this is the first lesson that kids should learn. This doesn't mean that kids should be beat down and treated like dirt, but they need to know that bad things happen sometimes, no matter what. Also, if we don't get any criticism, how will we know if we need to improve? Kids who don't grow get left behind--do we want that to be us? How about our children?
The whole self-esteem movement drives me nuts, even though I see the point, to a small degree. Kids need to know that they're important, that they're valued, that they can do anything they really want to. But they also need to know that they have to WORK for it. If you want to be the best, you have to try your hardest. I think some people miss that lesson.
Okay, enough ranting on this subject. Just had to get that out of my system. Any thoughts from you nifty people out there?
I feel kinda sick this morning, which is a bad thing. I have a job interview this afternoon (YAAAY! Wish me luck!), and I want to be on top form. *sighs* I'll try to take it easy this morning, I think. But I have chores to do! AUGH!
The wedding is in a little less than two months now. WOOT! I cannot express how excited I am! Alex and I went with his mom to hire the caterer on Wednesday, and that was kinda fun. We had dinner there, too, and the food was FANTASTIC. Alex's mom is cool. I have no worries about getting along with my in-laws. ^_^
Alex and I also picked up a guestbook. I went to Bridal Hell last Sunday (Bridal Fair--I hate those) with my friend, Heidi. She's getting married in June '04. Hee! In any case, I was being a "stealth bride" (as Alex said) and, while helping Heidi out, I was also scoping the last-minute bits that Alex and I still needed. I found the perfect guestbook in a display--brown Italian leather cover with "Guests" just stamped on it (no gold leaf or anything) and nice, acid-free paper with a ragged edge. I grabbed the booth's business card and told Alex about it, and we went to see about it the next day. Unfortunately, the shop was closed for Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. Rats. So, we went back on Tuesday and got the book. It is BEAUTIFUL. Yay!
In other news, Heidi now has her wedding dress ordered, and she assures me that it's beautiful. I've seen the bridesmaids' dresses for her wedding, and the designs for those are lovely, too. This makes me happy, 'cuz I have to wear one. ^_~
And now, a small rant on Bridal Fairs: I hate them. The vendors are so pushy, and there are too many people. There are some positives, though: The actual fashion show thingy was fun (especially the tuxedo models pretending to be James Bond), and the food samples are good. It's a good place for ideas, but for Heaven's sake, don't buy anything there. Take notes and visit the shops. The End.
And now, something I found interesting:
I was reading an article last night in the August 2002 Reader's Digest. (No, I don't know why my parents still have it.) The article was "That's Outrageous!" by Tucker Carlson, and it was subheaded, "Go Ahead, Hurt My Feelings." The article is about a study conducted by the California Task Force on Self-Esteem that found that, according to Maureen Stout, author of the study, "There is little or no correlation between high self-esteem and a reduction in teen pregnancy, drug use, violence in schools."
I read the rest of the article, and it would have been funny if it wasn't so tragic. Did you know that kids sue their schools for bad grades and are actually taken seriously? Also, here's a bit of the article that shows how far self-esteem has gone in this country:
"One night last fall, four seventh-graders at Ridgefield Academy in Connecticut broke into their school using a stolen key. The boys swiped food from the cafeteria, stole from the band room, threw eggs at a school bus and left a kitchen knife lying on school grounds. The following day they bragged about what they had done. A few days later, they were expelled.
In a way, the boys were fortunate the school did not press charges. Far from being grateful, however, the parents of one boy were outraged at the treatment of their son, claiming--among other things--that he had been 'harassed' and 'defamed.' They sued, seeking monetary damages for treatment that caused their son 'feelings of unworthiness' and left his 'self-worth impugned.'"
Okay. If you break into a school, cause damage, and then brag about it the next day, you deserve to have "feelings of unworthiness." You have done a STUPID thing!
Life is not all positive, but there are kids who are brought up to believe that it is. I've seen other signs of the "self-esteem generation," like inability to take even constructive criticism, unwillingness to improve in anything, etc. For some people, any kind of criticism hurts badly, because they've been brought up to believe that they can do no wrong and life is fair. Then they get out in the real world--and the real problems begin.
Life is not fair. I believe that this is the first lesson that kids should learn. This doesn't mean that kids should be beat down and treated like dirt, but they need to know that bad things happen sometimes, no matter what. Also, if we don't get any criticism, how will we know if we need to improve? Kids who don't grow get left behind--do we want that to be us? How about our children?
The whole self-esteem movement drives me nuts, even though I see the point, to a small degree. Kids need to know that they're important, that they're valued, that they can do anything they really want to. But they also need to know that they have to WORK for it. If you want to be the best, you have to try your hardest. I think some people miss that lesson.
Okay, enough ranting on this subject. Just had to get that out of my system. Any thoughts from you nifty people out there?
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no subject
Date: 2003-01-24 09:35 am (UTC)It means that the amount of files she is set up to be publicly shared is greater than X where X is rather big. The only technical meaning it has is that other users may choose, if they wish, to only share files to those who have a high Participation Level, to prevent freeloading.
no subject
Date: 2003-01-25 12:14 am (UTC)Elfie, as far as the students suing the school system goes, I know how you feel. >_< My parents are both teachers and have to tread on eggshells all the time because of ridiculous stuff like this. My dad has to deal with the worst, as he's a high school teacher, and he's one of the few who actually...*gasp* MAKES HIS STUDENTS DO WORK! The inevitable result is, of course, the kids who are used to having these newbie teachers letting them get by with slacking off get all fussy and complain to their parents, who complain to the school board that my dad is a cruel and vindictive teacher. *rolls his eyes* My dad simply responds that if they would just do their work and try hard to excel, they'd pass his course with flying colors. It's an uphill battle that he's been fighting over for years. Luckily, he's been a teacher for a very long time and school officials tend to know, trust, and listen to what he has to say. But if he were a younger or newer teacher who was saying this sort of thing, he'd probably be eaten alive by parents and school officials alike. The tragic thing is that even though my dad is fighting for this and is making his voice heard, there are many many others who are losing the battle.
When/if I ever have kids, I'm going to make darn well certain that I put them through a private school, preferably a Christian one, and am going to check out the teachers and cirriculum well beforehand to make sure they put kids through the process of hard work and diligence. The public school systems are falling apart as near as I can tell. And if my kids ever complain about the work they have to do, I'll send them to their Grandpa for a lecture. Buahaha.
no subject
Date: 2003-01-25 01:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-01-25 11:02 am (UTC)Marky: Yeah, the whole "self-esteem" thing is one of the many reasons why I'm glad I didn't decide to be a teacher. Of course, if I were a teacher, the kids would probably complain about me. Heh heh..."That Miss Elfie! She's REALLY tough! You don't want to take HER classes!" Mwahah. I don't believe in slackers. If I have to show up every day and teach, the least they can do is show up every day and learn. Maybe that's too much to ask? Anyway.
I feel for your dad. Tell him I admire him for having the guts to be tough. Schools need more teachers like him. My favorite teachers were the tough ones--they kept me from being bored and taught me the value of hard work. Of course, that doesn't mean that I'm not still really lazy from time to time...hee... ^_^;;
no subject
Date: 2003-01-25 07:39 pm (UTC)It's also important that not EVERYBODY gets to become a teacher. Not even half of them have the proper qualifications! Teachers have to be nice, non-violent and role-models. They have to be interested in teaching kids and youth, not just in the paycheck. They have to be both friendly AND have authority. Plus they ought to know alot of the subject they're teaching, not just what it says in the book the kids have :P
no subject
Date: 2003-01-26 02:55 pm (UTC)Cute icon, BTW, Mette-chan! ^_^v