Lonesome.

I'm feeling kinda depressed and lonely right now, and I don't know why. I just finished up a nice day with Alex, but...we just don't get enough quality time together, and I think it's getting me down. We're both so busy with work and school and trying to get ready for the wedding...teaching me to drive...trying to get homework done...going to work in the evening...getting stuff for the house...there are times I want to just elope. I spend a quantity of time with Alex, but not enough quality time. I still feel connected to him and everything, and I still love him, but...dangit, I want more TIME! If we were married, this would be easier. I'd see him every morning and every night. I could fall asleep in his arms and feel warm and loved and safe, and he could feel the same way. I know life means being busy, but shouldn't I be able to make time for us? Tonight, we had a nearly-complete conversation, but there should have been more. It was important, and it's not either of our faults that it didn't get finished (well, maybe mine, I have bad timing sometimes), but it's so FRUSTRATING. It's hard to have the important, deep discussions that are so necessary to relationship-building if you don't have TIME together. And I don't know what to do about it.

Then there's my friends. Almost the same situation. I have so much to do and prepare for, and my friends get lost in the shuffle. I just want to be settled, even though the whole wedding planning thing is kinda fun. But...I just want to be there for everybody, and I can't. No, nobody's guilt-tripping me or anything. I just...feel kinda helpless right now.

But Alex is wonderful. He's so supportive and loving, and I know we'll get through this whole thing. My friends (when I talk to them) have been the same way. But still, I want to be there for them more.

I'm just bothered by my lack of time for what I consider to be really important right now. I hardly ever see my family or my friends, and I don't have enough time with Alex. I don't have things done that I wanted to have done by now (chores, packing, etc.).

Why am I ranting? I dunno. I feel a little better now. What would make me feel LOTS better would be to curl up in Alex's arms and go to sleep, hoping that the world will look better in the morning. Say a little prayer for me, wouldja, friends? I could use it right now. Send big prayers to other peoples, though. They could use it even more.

Tomorrow will be a better day, I know. I'll talk to God before sleepytime and read for a while, and then get some decent sleep for once. Take care, everybody, and thanks for reading.

And now, to cheer myself and everybody else up:
( QUIZZES! (You knew I couldn't end without 'em!) )