The Saga of Risotto

Hear now The Saga of Risotto.

Lo! Elfie, the Small and Loquacious, was feeling rather low and gloomy and cynical about the entire holiday season and the fact that her dwelling was, once again, a disaster area. Her cat would not comfort her, no, and her husband had to work. Gifts needed wrapping, friends needed calling, and life needed attending. But Elfie's mood was depressed, and she did not wish to do any of these things.

Then Alex, the Strong and Inspired, rose from his couch and declared his battle with other programmers over, at least for the moment. And Lo! He looked into the icebox, and he saw that there was pancetta. And it was good, though it would soon be bad. "Alas!" cried Alex. "We must use this pancetta, while it is still good! I shall make Risotto, for Risotto is the essence of holiday goodness, and it will please all who taste its awesome tastiness!"

And Alex did make the Risotto. He took unto himself the pancetta, which he sliced with mighty slicings of his vorpal hollowed Wustof, that the pancetta might not stick to the blade. Then he took unto himself the shallots, which he also sliced with mighty slicings, and quick slicings, that his eyes might not be flooded with the shallots' powerful fumes. And Elfie assisted him by measuring out the arborio rice and grating the parmesan cheese. Alex placed the pancetta and shallots in the Pot of Cooking, and he did cook them until they were tender. Then he added the carefully-measured arborio rice and some white wine and some chicken broth, and he did stir them into creamy deliciousness. He stirred and he stirred. Great were his stirrings, and mouth-watering was the aroma that did emanate from the Pot of Cooking. And Elfie did hunger, and her stomach did rumble in a noisy and hungerous way.

In the fullness of time, Alex did taste the Risotto, and he pronounced it Good. And he stirred his final stirrings, laboriously adding just the right amount of parmesan cheese. And Alex and Elfie did take unto their bosoms bowls, and they did fill the bowls with the Risotto, and they ate of it. And it was Good.

And Elfie's mood was considerably improved, and she thought that she might be able to face the holidays after all. And Loki did lie upon the floor with his paws sticking ridiculously into the air, and he did stare at his humans in a cute and yet disdainful way. He received no Risotto for his pains, but Elfie, happy in her newly-fed state, did fuzz his exposed belly.

Thus ends The Saga of the Risotto.

This Is My Cat. This Is My Cat On Drugs. Any Questions?

Last night, I went over to arianadream's house. From her, I received a catnip toy for my cat, Loki. arianadream was uncertain as to whether the catnip would still be active. I placed the toy in my knitting bag, made a mental note to give it to Loki, and promptly forgot about it.

This evening, I opened my knitting bag in order to get a pen. I still had not remembered the catnip toy. Loki, however, wandered over and started sticking his head into the bag. I could not figure out what he wanted. He has never been that interested in my knitting. After a few minutes, however, I realized that he was licking something. I was rather concerned about my knitting, so I reached out to deter him. As I reached, however, Loki emerged with the catnip toy in his mouth. I tried to take it away from him, and he scratched me. Loki never scratches me. He stole the toy away, ran to another part of the room, and started licking the toy again. He was punished (by having the toy taken away again), but the situation was too funny for me to keep the toy away for long. Alex tossed the toy to Loki, and Loki proceeded to play with it, bat it around, and then lie on it. He curled up and laid his little chin on it for a while and stared at us. Now, however, he is obsessed with my knitting bag. Apparently, the entire interior smells like catnip. I think he was searching for another toy earlier.

Cats on drugs are highly entertaining.